Stop Worrying

Trust takes a long time to grow, and you can achieve a comfortable place with your partner only to have the wind knocked out of your sails by his gorgeous [and flirty!] co-worker, odd text messages to number you don’t know and more and more late nights out with the boys. One worry quickly spirals into 100. How do you know when to listen to that nagging sensation in your gut and when to ignore it? We’ll tell you how.

unhappy woman in bed with partner

Don't Worry When…

1He wants the two of you to hang out with his friends a lot

Rather than this being a sign that he's bored of you, it actually indicates that he's grown comfortable enough in the relationship to bring you around his boys. The alternative -- always wanting to be alone -- can actually be a red flag signalling that he's keeping you a secret. If you haven't met a good portion of his friends by six months in, it's time to talk. But otherwise, be happy when he makes plans with other couples or suggests meeting up with your friends. Tell him, though, that you need some couple time still as well.

2The passion fades after a year or two

That sheet-grabbing lust you felt the first half of your relationship will naturally give way to a more comfortable, contented state. This doesn't mean your man is sleeping with another. NineMSN's Health section reports that the two-year mark is when partnerships hit a lull of sorts. But the diminished amore just means you're at a point where you can really bond, making important decisions together and planning for the future.

Keep fear at bay by making sure to do something new every week such as cooking a new recipe, trying a new position, or doing something outdoorsy. Knowing you're contributing to keeping things fresh will keep your mind from wondering too much in regards to your man's desire for you.

3He talks about another girl

His co-worker, his buddy's girlfriend, a new friend -- whether she's attractive or not, it's actually not the end of the world. If a guy is hiding something, he most likely won't talk about it. So if he had the hots for one of these women, you would probably never even know who she is. Control your anxiety by asking engaging, not probing, questions about her and say that she sounds cool and you want to meet her. If your man obliges, you know this is someone who only views platonically.

Worry When…

1His Facebook page looks like a Victoria's Secret catalogue

You thought he was just popular…until you noticed that 899 of his 900 friends are chicks, and really hot ones, at that. Even if they're not writing all over his page or he on theirs, it's a bit troublesome that he wants or needs all this female eye candy around when he has you. He could be a player.

2He's got girls waiting in the wings

You know the kind -- the "friend" who is so disgustingly in love with your man, you almost feel sorry for her. Almost. This woman may seem nice and loyal, but she may just be waiting for an opportune time -- a huge fight, a weekend you're away, a late night at the office -- to pounce on your man meat.

2He flirts constantly

You can forgive the occasional smile at the cute waitress or compliment to one of your girlfriends. But if every time you go out, he's paying more attention to another woman, things might be awry, says Cosmo Australia. You know what real flirting is -- it's probably the same thing he did to you when you met. If it seems like a come-on or a sleazy saying, and if he's touching or standing super-close to her, its disrespectful and you need to tell him.

More relationship advice

8 Ways to make your love last forever
Why fighting is killing your relationship
3 Things to ignore in your marriage

Talking with your partner

The one thing you should know about talking to men

Tags: au love & sex couples partner red flag worry

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