The Shire: Car crash TV at it's finest

The Shire
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I have a confession and it’s something I’m not proud of. To be honest, I’m almost sorry to admit this publicly, but here goes: I think I’m actually going to love watching TEN’s new “dramality” show, The Shire.

Yes, it’s going to be chock full of vapids. The kind that just make you want to hurl something at the television in anger or disgust, and with alarming force.

Yes, it’s going to be spilling over with fake boobs, six packs and the kind of bodies that make me put down my Snickers and do enough crunches that I won’t be able to stand up straight for days.

And yes, like a bad one night stand, I will hate myself in the morning for having gone there in the first place.

But after viewing only one trailer, I’m hooked.

Naturally, the key to roping people in is a great trailer and the producers of the show have certainly dished up enough in this one to rile up the nation, with Sophie and Vernesa declaring, “To be honest babe, and I know a lot of girls don’t want to hear this, I love looking fake.”

You can just hear the clenched jawline of a million Aussie girls.

Meanwhile wanna-be rapper, Rif Raf, throws out a freestyle rap saying, "My name is Rif-Raffy, have you heard? I'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally disturbed (bleep).”

Charming.

Not everyone is as excited as I am at the show’s debut, with the trailer prompting the Twitterverse to light up with the usual barrage of schtick.

“The Shire looks really interesting!” former MasterChef winner Adam Liaw tweeted. “On an unrelated note, what’s the best way to set fire to a telelvision?”

And former radio brekky host Scoot Dooley wrote, “I would like to preempt the cast of The Shire’s reaction to criticism by saying, NO ONE IS JEALOUS OF YOU.”

The Shire makes it’s debut on Monday night at 8 p.m. on TEN.